Last night I delivered a talk to my synagogue, what we call a dvar Torah for the annual Trans Day of Remembrance. It’s all rather new for me, as I spent a lifetime avoiding public speaking, a result of a childhood traumatic experience. I chuckle that now at 75, I’m finally confronting that fear head on.
So, the sanctuary was filled, and my moment came. I tied the remembrance of Avraham (Abraham) and Sara to our own remembrance of trans lives lost to murder, and the terrible toll it takes on the rest of us, ending with an excerpt of a spoken word piece I’d written several years ago after the murder of two trans women in Washington DC.
What followed was something I was totally unprepared for. Accolades from the members of my community, including the Zoom Makom Minyan. Am I ever so grateful for that moment. My emotions were all over the place, for this was foreign territory for me. I’m just not accustomed to praise, I guess. It was a moment that was satisfying, for continuing to overcome that lifelong fear, but also a community that demonstrated loving support in a spectacular way. After, I got to speak with Kochava for a few minutes, and then to the bubbe (Grandmother) of the Bat Mitzvah girl for this week. She was a poet and I wanted to talk more, but my transit driver arrived, and I had to leave. ::chuckling:: Anyone who knows me knows I like to schmooze. That was my one regret for the evening, having to leave so soon.
So in this moment of introspection, I am filled with gratitude. My Shir Tikvah congregation is teaching me in profound ways. At this old age, to be conquering a childhood trauma is spectacular. I am grateful to Rabbi Joey who asked me if I would deliver this Dvar, and his support as I put it all together. I’m grateful to Rabbi Arielle for her kind words and a voice like an angel. To Dan Nadel whose music I have appreciated for a long time and how wonderful to be seated by him as he worked his magic. Thank you Shir Tikvah who have shown chesed (loving kindness) in so many ways. I feel such love for you all!
Shavua tov!
